Friday, February 19, 2010

O-H-I-O







My aunt Pam sent an email today saying she looks forward to my wrap-up blog. It struck me that I hadn't done that yet. Truth is, I've not been feeling well at all; still pretty sick, so my focus has been on my health since Wed night when we returned. Starting to improve now. So...here goes...
Had an unexpected moment when we first returned to Miami. I figured I'd feel a sense of comfort come over me, being back on U.S. soil, and I did. But, I also felt tears come to my eyes. It was quite the culture shock. I felt like I was standing still as everyone was racing around me and I was overcome by the thought "We have soooo much" (here in the States). Maybe some guilt even? Don't know, but it was a bit upsetting. Just made me realize it will take some time for me to reconsile all I saw and experienced but still return to my usual life here.
Our team was happy to have some downtime in Santiago before returning. We were anxious to get back to our families, but realized the time to decompress was an unexpected blessing.
I got home late Wed, so went to bed and picked Liam up from pre-school on Thursday. He was just going down for his nap so I crept over to his cot and rubbed his back. He turned his head, fingers in his mouth (of course), and smiled "MAMA!" He climbed up on my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck, again "mama". I was home.
When people ask me about the trip, I enjoy talking about it. I say it was really challenging, but it was phenomenal. What struck me most was the hope and the perseverance I saw in people. I felt that more than the sadness. The sadness was there, believe me, couldn't miss it; soooo much need there. I loved the way I witnessed communities rally around each other. Like nothing I've ever seen in the States. Haitians pick each other up and take care of strangers even when they don't have enough to feed their own. No one in the hospital was alone. They had support of others.
And I know some wonder if they could really do much to help over there. I'm here to tell you, yes. A resounding YES. You have to be open to it. You have to see what's happening around you and how people are reacting, and then you'll see that just your presence tells them that others in the world care. We cared enough to come all that way to be with them. To help any way we could. And they were appreciative. Every smile, every look in their eyes told me that. Ok, not everyone's eyes were happy to see us, but you get the point.
As we left, I remembered that I don't like saying good-bye so I tend to distance myself as I leave and quickly resolve that I'm onto the next place. But, and this is a big but, I now understand why my teammates feel like when they return to Dessalines, Haiti they've returned home. I understand that a piece of our hearts remain there. It was an amazing experience.
I like when people ask if the trip changed me for life. I think there are many, many experiences through life that change me. Some small, some big. What I think is...I sure hope so. I hope it changes me. I hope it added to my growth and that change keeps on comin' :) 'Cause life is good. It's real good and I love stepping out of my comfort zone and challenging myself. Fun to check out how I'm gonna react. Whether it's my child testing his limits at home OR slamming me into a disaster situation in Haiti. It's all part of growth and growth is good. Not always easy, but it's good.

p.s. If anyone comes across my luggage I'd love to have that returned. According to the airline, it should be somewhere in the Detroit area now. Thanks so much :)
Love to all!!! Amy

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